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A Little Advice

Reprinted from News-To-Use, Vol.4, No.2.
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Keep Your Wits In these troubled times, it pays to keep a little good humor nearby, perhaps in your bottom drawer, and to take nips of it at need. I like to keep my wits about me on bookshelves and take them down, now and again, perhaps to concoct a little game for the amusement of my friends.

Any list of famous wits would include the likes of Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde and Groucho Marx. Can you match up the witticisms below with their authors?

A.Woody Allen

B.W.C. Fields

C. Fred Allen

D. Dorothy Parker

E. Groucho Marx

F. George Bernard Shaw

G. James Thurber

H. Mark Twain

I. Oscar Wilde

J. Jules Fieffer
1. "Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

2. "She got her good looks from her father. He is a plastic surgeon."

3. "She developed a persistent troubled frown which gave her the expression of someone who is trying to repair a watch with gloves on."

4. "Virtue has never been as respectable as money."

5. "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

6. "Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns. He should be drawn and quoted."

7. "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

8. "I grew up to have my father's looks, my father's speech patterns, my father's posture, my father's walk, my father's opinions and my mother's contempt for my father."

9. "We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience."

10. "I like children. If they're properly cooked."

Select the number for which who want to know the answer:

The Answer is:

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